Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Help Thou My Unbelief - November 19th, 2013

This week has been quite the up and down for me.  I have been on a rollercoaster since I woke up on Monday morning.  But it is alright.  (: I have learned so much about myself, about my relationship with God, and that my Savior loves me.  I know He loves me.  First of all, thank heavens I am going to AZ.  Life in Mexico is crazy.  I believe I have mentioned that before...just reiterating.  Oh, and this was cute...me and my Hermanas were running around the track last week and there were some Mexican workers sitting under a tree nearby.  We took no notice...we just said hello and kept running.  As we were leaving, we said goodbye and waved and whatnot...and we noticed a flashing light. Yes. These men had been taking pictures of us. Here we are trying to be nice and stuff, just joggin along...in our very attractive basketball shorts and baggy tshirts, looking as good as day, and they were creepin on us! Hahahaha okay. What a hoot. (;
Also, you know how I HATE moths? Like literally...I will cry if I am near one.  Let me introduce you to...THE DRAGON. I have a picture and I will send it (along with all the others) when I am able to access a way to.  Anywho, the dragon is a lovely creature.  A moth to be exact.  It is probably about the size of my hand. It is black. And it is probably the scariest thing I have ever seen.  I have a picture like I said, but not because I took one.  I had someone else take it while I was in the corner hyperventilating. Mmmm gotta love those moths. 
Hey! Here´s something fun!  One of our favorite districts (the friends that left last week) left us something before they left.  Well, they only left it to us 4 girls (we´re pretty much a package deal...and to the fam that is in on this inside joke "standard package, no options").  They told us that we were the worthy ones to receive it and that we should tell no one here.  But you´re not here. (: It is hilarious! It was a map to find all these weird things that they named after biblical stories/people and it lead to the "altar." This was an old fireplace...Underneath it, wrapped in an old pillowcase was "the records" Basically a collection of happenings during the stay of previous elders.  They wrote it in the form of the Bible.  It was hilarious! The district who gave it to us added to it and we will add our stories to it as well before we hide it again and pass it on to anther "worthy" district.  It also had the "sword of laban" and the "sling of david" with it.  These were fly swatters titled as such.  I´m thinking we will leave the "head of laban" with it when we hide it.  You know, Mom, the creepy doll head you snuck into my suitcase before I left (; Classic. 
On to Spiritual matters.  This week was a harder week for me.  But I guess only for a small moment.  Because it has also been a very eye-opening and spiritual week.  
To start off.  Our teachers were demonstrating a lesson with each other and I realized "okay, I am only here for a few more weeks and then that will be me speaking all that Spanish and I barely can understand them!" I panicked.  Right after that it was our turn to teach our teacher (our investigator Mauricio).  We went to knock on his door and I broke down.  Just sat down in the hall and cried for the first time.  After the lesson, which went by painstakingly, my and my companion went outside and talked.  This was awesome, because not only did we lift each other up, but we became closer.  It was just what we needed in order to strengthen our unity in teaching. You see, words come easy to me in life.  I just never really have seemed to have a problem getting up and speaking to people with my heart.  But here...here I can´t.  Because I have a language barrier. Yes, I´m learning, but it is no where near perfect.  It was really frustrating at first.  But what I´ve been learning is how important it is to realize that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us. He KNOWS us.  He would not have sent me here if He didn´t think I could do it. He knows I can do it!  "I give unto men weaknesses that they may humble themselves before me" ( I  think it's somewhere along those lines, right?)  The Lord has definitely been showing to me all my weaknesses here...And I have never been more grateful.  He is teaching me how to make them my strengths.  I absolutely need to humble myself so that I can become teachable.  I need to first be an investigator here in the CCM, learning the Language of the Spirit, and then I can be a teacher.  It is a process.  2 Timothy 1:7 (my favorite scripture) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of love and of POWER, and of a sound mind.  All good things come from God! These doubts, these fears, they are not coming from a loving Heavenly Father.  Satan knows how good we can be! He knows it, and he doesn´t want it to happen. SO FIGHT BACK! We are not here to lose, no way no way.  We are here to win.  To invite others to come unto Christ.  Strive to be that example.  (: you will not do it alone.
We get to watch live devotionals from Provo when an apostle comes.  L. Tom Perry spoke last week.  He gave a great talk! These apostles are hilarious (: He was cracking jokes left and right.  One small sentence he said stuck with me.  It can be applied any where in life, not just in the mission. "By chance!? ABSOLUTELY NOT" We have a purpose.  We have a reason.  And we were not created haphazardly.  Become the person your Heavenly Father designed you to be.  He KNOWS you can be that person.  
One last thought because I write marathons (I can relate to you in some ways, eh, Ma?)
SO another moment of learning.  I was preparing for my investigator, Mauricio.  My companion said to me "ya know, you don´t really have faith"...I was appalled.  Of course I have faith, or I wouldn´t be here.  But she explained to me how I always have to have 50 scriptures that apply to our investigator or make sure we stick to everything that we planned.  She said "You don´t rely on the spirit to teach them.  You don´t believe that they are actually feeling it"...and surprisingly, she was right.  I had no idea that I felt this way,either.  But at that moment, I realized that I was not trusting the Lord to carry me through  these lessons.  I was not putting all my faith in that the Spirit would teach.  I wanted so badly for them to learn that I was almost doing everything I could to convince them...except for being patient enough for the Spirit to teach.  I could not believe that this was true.  It is because I was in confident in my language skills that I felt like I needed to find lots for them to read and blah blah blah.  Anyways.  I learned that I need to put mas fe en Mi Padre Celestial.  Because it is the spirit that teaches, not us.  We are simply tools.  We teach people, not lessons.  And so I prayed, "help Thou my unbelief" and my prayer was answered.  The spirit taught beautifully that day and I just need to remember this for the rest of my days!
I love you all! (: 

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